What

is

the

most

curious

aspect

of

your

dreams?

Whats the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?

It would be a shame if it was your life. I should do that someday. We need that sort of stuff for our movie, a line as good as that, and a charachter as subtle and sinister as Churguh.

.

It's going to be genius if it works.

.

How's life? Generally nice?

Ish?

Great?

Ish?

Amazing?

Ish?

My life is a bit better. It'll get better in the future I hope. Hope. Is a nice word, I should think about it more often. Everyone hates me, and no-one loves me.

STOP! (I need to know how)

I guess I could move friend groups, I'm sure the Thomas-Jonny group would be happy to see me... The Robert-Harrison posse would get used to me... At a stretch I might even be welcomed into the Tiffany-Sarah group, the certainly seen to be the friendly type... And then after a while when everyone has forgotten about me (or I have forgotten about everyone?) I could return with hugs and kisses all round.

-

Other people (from my observation) seem to do that kind of thing all the time. When one group gets sick of them they move on to another, and maybe another, and then come back. Like they get bored with their friends. I never get bored with my friends, but I think sometimes they might get sick of me. Maybe I should disappear forever. Maybe not.

But anyhoo, something has to shift. Change. And I feel too much still. I need to stop that. And I get really worried WHEN I MUSTN'T BECAUSE THERE IS NO POINT!!! I don't even know what I'm worried about, just that I am. And I don't want enemies. Or people not being allowed to talk to me, or people not wanting to talk to me.

-

You lied. Again. I hate it when you lie to me, you most of all, because I trust you, and I give so much of myself (if not practically at least emotionally) to you, and I have done, and I give you so many second chances and every time you do the same thing and the you have the nerve and self-righteousness to tell me its my fault. Like I've wronged you and you have done nothing to me, when I have given so much to you! I am a different person now than I was when I set out. A miserable one. And don't think for a second that you are innocent because you are guilty most of all. For lying to me for so many months. And then lying after that. And now still lying. And you expect me to just put up with you. I can see why you prefer online relationships to real ones, and its because you don't have to care about your other, think about their feelings or experience their pain when you screw them up. And you can lie to them. I'm just guessing, but I think I'm right. I am prepared to forget, not forgive, I will be your friend forever if you want me to. But don't lie to me, and tell me if you want (or don't want) something, because I am sick of your disrespect, to anyone, let alone me! Right now you make me sick. But I am your friend.

I feel sick. On my birthday. This is the worst birthday I have ever had, I want to make myself happy again. And tempting myself isn't the way to do it. I need something to take my mind off things until I am prepared to face my anguish...

Any ideas?

(They were some quotes I got of internet forums by the way, to make them up would be dramatic even for me)

The only thing that doesnt remind me of you, are the tears i shed because of you....

JUST CALL ME A BOY AND SHOVE A KNIFE IN MY HEART!

Cya

Hello, Hello. This, is my attempt at a decent blog post.

Yeah I can't think of anything. Cya

The Revenge of the Fittest

Selly lettle gals
Speak in selly lettle ways

So raising skinny, bitchy little waiters
To be fucked
Makes sense to me at last

Like they know what they mean,
Or what they want

So let’s hang them off our dicks!
Keys on a key ring
And use butter to fit ourselves into their tiny heads

It’s not like they’re going to stop us
But they might find out… (Ahh!)
That we loose them like socks

So quietly now boys
Or they’ll think it’s us to blame
Leach off every one of us
And treat us all the same

I think its a little short... It certainaly doesn't last long. What do you think?

STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH MY HEAD AND TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!!!

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to stab myself with something now

Bitch Ugly Faces

Kill Me. Please.
You who has the power to be rich
Like I was rich

Yes you who loves to make me run
Without a single sponsor over my head
For a burning medallion

Yes you! Kill. Me.
Please.
Before you let me live for you

For I live to love
The glasses you craft
For your own disguise

And I love to live
In a self-sadistic hope
Of a you-me (dream come true)

But I love a ship that was made to sink
But for a single lonely boat
With you on it?!

Though now you go!
As high as a bird!
Leaving me here

You love to leave
My bitch ugly face
In your dust

Don't hold your breath

You know? No you don't. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(It is so sensual to just flick between two keys like that!)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'll post later today when i think of something to post!

Cya

Verbs has changed. I shouldn't have started the blog yet, maybe not at all. I has moved from a westernish thing to an urban thing, on acount of it meaning more to me and readers (since I don't live in El' Paso)

-

Will my birthday party be a sucsess? Maybe. Maybe not, I don't know. I hope so. I really do.

-

This is not a good time to write a blog post, I am unhappy.

The last post wasn't for the masses, so this is...

I have been sad today. And I am finding it REALLY hard to look at girl from the healthy and personality angle rather than physical attractiveness! I can see why guys do it, its much more natural... Though it doesn't make much sense, cosidering I am not out in the world purely for sex, why would I be looking at attractivity anyway? It doesn't really matter does it!



Sigh, but I am trying. All you skinny good looking girls out there are screwed (If you want me, it seems they don't).



(full stop)



I am over feeling bad. Horrible. I want to climb through a chain link fence into a school and run away when a teacher is spotted.



Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Stop going insane Blair!

I want to start again, to be reborn without all my emotional stuff that has built around me! So I can make choices that won't hurt me, and listed to apparently wise advice. But than that might also mean I wouldn't know the people I love now, and i don't want that. I am rambling again. But i wish i had mever set out along this path!

Lets talk about sex kids!

(<-)
See, all better! Well probably not, that wasn't very nice of me. I am again sorry

Please don't shag me, I'll trap you into making a promise

If I wanted to get laid I could. I reckon. But I would have to be the worlds biggest prick. Issac style. And be really slutty and piss people like me off. But I don't really want to get laid. Not really. I would much prefer to have a relationship that works and fulfils me.

Is that weird? Not to want sex so much? If I made a list of guys I know and then went down it I bet nine out of ten would be desperate for a fuck. And the same nine would probably turn down a serious relationship. Well, eight out of that nine maybe. But still. What is it about sex that is so desperate?

That's not to say I would turn it down. I mean sure if some good looking chick sauntered up and started being really flirty and horny I'm hardly going to go "Fuck off you horny bitch, you just want me for sex" am I? But still I would want some security of a nice personality and a continuing relationship, after the sex. Unless they were REALLY good looking.

The I am Writing Verbs Decision

I seem to have fullfilled the prophecy I wrote with that movie idea I had, verbs, where my love destroys itself. Mybe I should write the book. I shall.

Many thanks to Siobhan for commenting, even if I wasn't fully sure whether you were taking about the post or yourself, but I thought I was talking for myself for a while there.

Thank you. To all who are there for me.