A social boy.

No original content still, I guess I'm feeling uninspired, there's nothing but spite in my bones - so I'll post others insparations for you to dislike. Did you see what I did there?

Anyhoo, if I grow up and make shit like this I will be a happy man? Maybe. Maybe I need God? Maybe not.

You know, there's this whole thing about youth and the rejection of youth, but nobody seems to care who you are.

Like that whole rebellion movement - you were so badass - and anyone that was still stuck in the self-depressed movement was behind; and to be avoided. And now, reject rock and roll and just don't give a fuck? Yeah well you'll make that a movement too. And woe to anyone that doesn't belive in your anti-movement movement.

I mean I guess in a way I'm joining the bandwagon, it's the same stuff I'm saying after all. But I reject your cattle-wolf mentality. It is no better than your last phase.

Do you get what I'm getting at?

I say a lot of things online that i wouldn't say otherwise, and I like that.

Yeah so anyway if I end up being called a visionary I'll be happy? Probably.

And by the way the blogs are good. I don't comment much because i can't but I read and I enjoy.

Thank you Nam, thank you Jonny and thank you Siobhan.

Oh and I want to be more social.

Exept is citisising my fellow movementers the way to go about that? No, it's not.

You see, I've always spoken my mind, and people have always loved that about me. Exept now not so much. They don't like what I say. I'm negative and deconstructive and often arrogant. And I'll tell you that underneath I'm a nice person when really, underneath that, I'm a wannabe manipulative.

But underneath that I'm a nice person. And I've just developed this image of what other people think of me that is unsavory and unwholesome. Really people think I'm a nice, slightly awkward boy that has a mind like a wafting needle.

-

There you go. Thats my whole soul at the moment. Does it tell anyone anything?

I need to think before I write posts. I will in future. I keep my promises.

So, my exams.

I went into the english exams with the best intentions and everything went well. I hear most others did well too. Hooray.

I would have preferred something a little more interesting actually, like a tricky question or an even mildly difficult unfamiliar texts...

Nobody wants to hear about my exams do they?

Ok my life. I am... working on a short film. I have only filmed 20 seconds of it so far because it can only be filmed at night, and I can't be up for much night, my mother gets annoyed because she thinks I need to sleep. (pffft!) That said, I should move much faster after they have finished and it should be up on here by the end of next week...
...

...If I had a friend, one that pretty much all we did together was joke and have general fun times (and we spend a lot of time having fun) does that give me a right to ask them for a favor that I could only ask of a friend? Because I guess we are quite close, but not in a serious way...

Maybe it depends on whether they actually care about me... yes... And I don't know that, so maybe I should leave it?

Or not, it is sort of important...

We shall see I guess, I'm only young and I guess part of life is learning!

Have lots of fun if you still have any exams left!

Cya

Hello, Hello. This, is my attempt at a decent blog post.

Yeah I can't think of anything. Cya

The I am Writing Verbs Decision

I seem to have fullfilled the prophecy I wrote with that movie idea I had, verbs, where my love destroys itself. Mybe I should write the book. I shall.

Many thanks to Siobhan for commenting, even if I wasn't fully sure whether you were taking about the post or yourself, but I thought I was talking for myself for a while there.

Thank you. To all who are there for me.

'Oh he made my blood just burn! I flipped do far I thought that I would not return!' (Get him back - Fiona Apple)

I don't know why I wanted to talk to you in the first place!

But I did.

This is like email isn't it (but one way)

Maye that's how I like it, or maybe not. And (just as things POP!!! into my head) when I said that I couldn't live without you, did I mean it? Really? Surely not, because that would mean I would die - but so far I am not to sure. Maybe it just takes time. Siobhan said months (but she has _ (<- That much) experience), but how long has it been? Month? Months? I can't remember the date - today or the day.

But (I don't know if you have noticed yet, you might not have (Truly!)), when I hear an angry tone, or unsympathising attitude (though I should be used to that by now), it really upsets me. And I mean really upsets me, for days, or weeks if it is allowed to.

I am a very fragile person, by many peoples doing - including myself, and I snap. I aren't depressed or anything, but I have similar symptoms (is that possible?). I am dragging on a bit so I'll stop.

Please be nice! I can't live without you!

'This is the last time I'll abandon you!

This is the last time I'll forget you!

I wish I could'

I am a miserable fucker aren't I? One would think, with all the nice things I have to say about other people, I could say some wonderful things to myself that would make me feel better, but no, miserable fucker. I am miserable.

However within my misery I wonder at life, it has become an obsession lately (which is better than death like last time I guess), how people are made for it, and display it in everything they do. 'Life in every breath' And how people are formend, how beautiful they are, everyone not just the good looking ones, and how wierd that is! That lumps of fleash and bone and gristle can be beautiful... The most beautiful thing of all.

In fact its killing me.

One last cry of dispair (or the hope of the end to)

This blog has become stagnant.

Poems and usless emotional speaches that mean nothing to anyone exept the intended person (Roseanna, to eliminate any doubt) have caused a slip into tedium. A fatal slip.

So I am adopting a new look! (again) It always revives my thoughts, and I hope to post a resonable blog post soon!

While we're still living in garden-skin land, I may as well tell Roseanna about my emotions:

I am happy! Because I can finally see hope for friendship! Be happy too you unhappy chipmonk! (if you aren't) Or go you on cowgirl! (If you are!)

;)

happy thoughts, Happy thoughts, HAPPY THOUGHTS!!!

Blogs, blogs, blogs...

I have spent most of today walking round in circles. Big circles, that is, around my house. I have decided that anti-clockwise is best.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Walking in circles is driving me crazy. So I'm posting. Yup.

I am a lot warmer now.

ARRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

My short hamner holiday was crap. Really terrible. It doesn't exite me much talking about it, so I wont.

Something I did discover though was that I am re-interested in lyrics. To songs. They facinate me, now, didn't before. Really interesting. Mmmm.


I'll drown my beliefs
To have you be in peace
I'll dress like your niece
To wash your swollen feet

Just don't leave
Don't leave

I'm not living
I'm just killing time
Your tiny hands
Your crazy kitten smile

Just don't leave
Don't leave

And true love waits
In haunted attics
And true love lives
On lollipops and crisps

Just don't leave
Don't leave

Just don't leave
Don't leave


Is Thom Yorke just trying to piss me off, because its working. Intreguing though.
Whats another one...

his wicked
sense of humour
suggests
exciting sex!

his fingers
they focus on her
touches
he's venus as a boy

he believes in a beauty
he's venus as a boy

he's exploringthe taste of her
arousal
so accurate

he sets off
the beauty in her
he's venus
venus as a boy

he believes in a beauty
he's venus as a boy


What the heck is that supposed to mean? What was Bjork trying to convey when she wrote that? I'd like to know.

Yeah thats that. I'm pretty annoyed at everyone right now. Yeah. That includes you!

My Impersonals

I hate communicating, It's too hard (talking to people)

Yeah well anyway, I have found a solution. Use a Computer! Pretty much all holidays I have been talking to people using email, blogs or cellphones, and I haven't said a word to anyone! whats even better is that I have plenty of time to decide what I am going to say, so I never tell anyone secrets by mistake. It's just weird! (Willie Wonka says that in Charlie and the Chocholate Factory and it is awesome!)

Yup, use blogs.


I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

More Clever Mice

I should have my birthday party. Last night I had a moment (about 2:00AM), where I was looking for some music to listen too. Well anyway, I didn't find any. I mean, the only stuff that I actually wanted to listen too was Radiohead and Bjork, but I always listen to them, so I decided that I should listen to something else, but I couldn't find anything. This might sound really trivial, but It's actually really worrying. What is I have run out of music? (no, impossible!)

So, moving on, I found a band called the 5 6 7 8s that I'm listening to at the moment, There a female Rock-Pop band from Japan, and Have a fantastic song called Woo Hoo that I must have listened to about 100 times already this morning.

So, moving on again, I thought that if I had my birthday party I could get people to buy me music as a present, and then I would have lots to listen too!

Who should I invite? Who would want to come?

Finaly it's Me.

It's a picture of me!

I think I was trying not to smile,

I'd just come off of the Superman ride at Movieworld (it's not that great).

Anyway, have fun with it.

Before I can Think

OK. Roseanna's blog definatly was there a minute ago, but now it's gone. Oh well.

We have got a realistate agent coming over to our house this afternoon to put a price on It. We wan't to sell it for many reasons. 1. The garden is too big and takes too much time, 2. The paddocks are too small and we don't have enough grass for grazing and 3. I wan't a new room, my current one is way too small, and I can't get to my library.

This means we have to do a lot of cleaning up, or else the agent will put a stupid person price on the house. It is my job to clean up everything I have used, which is the study, my room, the me and my brother's bathroom, the DVDs, Videos and paddocks. I also have to waterblast the concrete around the house (nobody likes dead worms).

While all this is going on, I have bigger problems, like how I can't have a shower because our cleaner is here and she doesn't wan't to see me while she is cleaning our bathroom.

On top of all this I have to think about life and my role in it. I'ts an ongoing debate, but probably the one I find most important out of all my things to do. What the heck does love mean?

Siobhanzil

It's nice to see so many comments, even if they are only from two people. Some are very interesting, and make me realise what I have written (thoughts to myself Siobhan).