If I Had To I Could Get Up And Leave Right Now...

All you need is love eh? I must admit, it feels pretty good sometimes!

Hopefully not quite the Splatterfest...

Ok. Today.

Hang on... Ok. Snugglepot and cuddlepie. It's a childrens book my grandparents gave me from Austrailia. It's not very good, but reading it again I have a few few issues. The one thats most troubling me is a little wierd:
























What exectly is the kid uder the leaf doing? And the Lizzard? The Peeking Babies?

Odd.



Anyhoo, I've decided I want to see a movie called 'Azumi'


























Pretty cool huh? Its got Gogo from Kill Bill too whom I lOVED in that movie so It's at the top of my list! Splatterfest!

Well, not RIGHT at the top, I'm not sure what it is yet but there is one movie I hope to be WAY better!

T H I S I S O N E E X I T E D E D B O Y ! ! !

I'm Ringing Roseanna Tomight!!!

...

Hmmm... I'm still thinking... Noting comes to mind though. Have you thought of any magical answers to my problems siobhan?

'Truly Soldiers'

OK, I didn't think of anything so I am going to write a story for y'all! It probabl;y won't be in a very edited state so don't expect a masterpiece! Ok, here goes...

After forever they couldn’t stand it, so they walked. He guided her as far away from the schoolyard as he could, as far away from the town and hospital bed as he could, but still they could not escape the purple and black, her weakness, or the brittle cold. The house they found stood in the middle of the wilderness. It seemed to violate the flat, trespass upon the open and lonely, it drew them in. They slept in the basement because Emily said there were ghosts in the house, big white ones with teeth. Jack didn’t believe in ghosts, but Emily was all he had, so they slept in the basement. There were yams growing in the garden outside, all laid out with their tufty leaves in nice neat rows. The rain stretched on and off into the distance but after a while Jack took a spade they found in the kitchen cupboard and went outside. He never came back. Emily was to sick to go after him, so she stayed in the house and waited. Climbing the worn staircase she found toys and teddy bears strewn around the nursery, so she had tea parties, some in a crowded New York restaurant, where she was the centre of attention, other just with her and Jack. He had always told her it was in her head, and maybe it was but she knew she felt it, something deep in her gut, growing bigger and stronger every day she talked to him. Out the window she saw the rain, sometimes a flood, sometimes just a trickle but she knew it would never stop until Jack came back.

As time wore on she thought of Jack more and more. He was always leaving when they were young, sometimes for days but he always returned. They all thought she was mad. They told her she couldn’t handle people, and would never fall in love. Jack was the only one who believed her, he was always there to tell her when she was wrong, what was real and what wasn’t, and to remind her of who she was. She was using the wall calendar to keep track of time. The date read 1961, but she knew it had been seven weeks since he left. She wasn’t leaving, she didn’t know whare she would go, so she hoped Jack came back someday and guide her home. In the mirror she started to see him, his speckled eyes and downy hair. He was telling her to go outside, to get the yams and eat, he told he she wasn’t sick anymore, he told her that she could go back and fall in love but she didn’t move, she couldn’t see the village at all, only the empty flat travelling on forever.

At her tea parties jack was a different person than he appeared in the mirror, he always ordered lobster, a delicacy from hotter places, and he told her stories of his travels to China and Portugal and if she was really lucky, America and its lights. She wanted to go there someday. In the house there were only two lights, one in the nursery and one in the basement. Jack told her that in America their were hundreds of lights, all lined up in neat rows. After that she took down the light in the basement, she was saving it for America.

Time didn’t seem to affect her in this house, though it never stopped raining. It wasn’t a dreary rain, it was an earthy one, inside the house she felt cosy and alive, and more and more she wanted to fall in love. The thing in her gut was dying, every now and then it would tense, wanting to escape. She started to remember her life, her friends, and as she did Jack faded away, at times she begged him to come back , she would run to the door and bang her fists on it desperately, look through the keyhole but still it rained. She found she knew other things as well as people. She could tell her village was north, and when she looked out the nursery window at night the star talked to her, told her how to get home. They would be proud of her now, Ma and Pa both; she would finish school at the church and become a writer, just like Pa told her she should be. It was the house that made her better, not Jack and his games, he had done nothing for her, he had left her alone here, she didn’t need him anymore. She packed her things, her toothbrush and diary and got ready to leave. She walked decisively down the hallway, now jack was gone she could go home, north. The door was heavy without Jack to help her push it open, he wasn’t through the keyhole but when she opened the door he was there with flowers and yams in his arms.

It's not much, its got potential though... Whoah, I let myself go there! It's called 'Truly Slodiers' And is about people getting into your head.

Seey'all!

Have I No Decency?!

OK, I'm going to think of something decent to post and get back to you. Y'all must be so sick of my emotions! Don't go anywhere.

...

I don't know what to say. I think I'm in shock.

Inner Wasps

Being unempathetic would go a long way in my, your, or anyone elses life. One of the most difficult things that I've had to grow accosomed to as I've tried to become more sociable is my empathy. Not that I didn't have some before, I just always masked it, and now that I'm sick of being mystical and doing that stupid answering every question with a question thing I have re-discovered it. It makes things difficult.

Even little things like waiting for someone to catch up or picking up someones pen if they drop it feel strange. It must be just part of social growth. I read somewhere that psyclologists are really worried about cellphones, because they allow people to say whatever they want without having to see the other person's reaction. Or deal with what they think (not developing empathy). I don't think they're talking about me or any of you regular readers, but more for the people living in less privilaged homes, that might not get love or attention from their parents. It makes sense, but is a little over paranoid.

Jacobs party was great fun. People are so different outside school! Who was there? Well... Jacob, of course. And Sam, Kristin, Jonny, Daniel, Siobhan and Elyse. I hope I have'nt missed anyone out because that would be terrible of me. I T W A S S O M U C H F U N ! ! !
I feel conected to people, its something I've never felt before. Like I have to see them and be with them to survive or something.

Love you (whoever you are reading this).

happy thoughts, Happy thoughts, HAPPY THOUGHTS!!!

Blogs, blogs, blogs...

I have spent most of today walking round in circles. Big circles, that is, around my house. I have decided that anti-clockwise is best.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Walking in circles is driving me crazy. So I'm posting. Yup.

I am a lot warmer now.

Bitter Me.?

OK.

My week.

Was emotional. Yeah. This week I have been both the most elated, and bitterly sad I have been in my whole life. The beach was magic. The people at the beach were magic. The whole thing was wonderful. amazing. And then it was followed up by the most awful, turbulant and suprising night i've ever had, involving overcooked sausages that I don't eat anyway because the were pre-cooked, two girls asking me out, and a serious think about all the things that I am most addicted to. I was shattered this morning, and I'm sorry if I was overly down (but I was).

I am cold.

ILOVEYOU!!!

OK, here we go...

First of all I guess was my meeting with Utting. HA! I remember! I sorta ruined his initiation thing where he opens the door and gives you some 'Do you acept the responsibility of becoming a humble BNUT' sermon by just walking past him and sitting down, and then my mum laughed in his face because she thought he was treating us like five year olds, uh, that about it. I sounded like I was on a real roll there. So, uh, the next day? That was thursday.

Yup.

Thursday was great because I got to see lots of pwetty people that I hadn't seen all holidays, and talk to a couple of them. I didn't do the talking that well because I hadn't talked to anyone all holidays, and had forgotten. That sucked. Its a really wierd feeling when you really want to say something useful and talk about peoples holidays and lives and heaps and heaps of random stuff but you can't because just NOTHING comes into your head to say. I think I have improved, so I'll try to do more talking on monday.

My form class is acctually pretty good. It's not amazing, but there aren't any bad people in it, Hannah is nice enough, Joel I can talk about ripping baby possums out of thier dead mothers woumbs and drowning them, and Issac, well, I can talk about his nose. The year twelve and thirteens aren't terrible, but I've never eally got on with them, so I keep my distance.

Then came Friday. Neil was creepy. Roseanna really scared me by leaving half way through, and the actions were too complicated.

Now I miss everyone. More than I did in the holidays even. Your all just so amazing and wonderful that I'm spellbound whenever I see any of you, its strange, but because your so fantasmical not suprising.

I S O L O O K F O R E W A R D T O S E E I N G Y O U O N M O N D A Y B E C A U S E Y O U A R E A L L S O F R I E N D L Y A N D K I N D A N D E N E G M A T I C A N D B E A U T I F U L ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Checkn'

SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

I am so happy to see everyone again! There all so fantasitic and amazing and a whole lot of other things! I can't be bothered telling you a detailed description so I'll do that some time later today. Don't stop checkn'!