If I believed in revenge

you would be dead by now

'Oh he made my blood just burn! I flipped do far I thought that I would not return!' (Get him back - Fiona Apple)

I don't know why I wanted to talk to you in the first place!

But I did.

This is like email isn't it (but one way)

Maye that's how I like it, or maybe not. And (just as things POP!!! into my head) when I said that I couldn't live without you, did I mean it? Really? Surely not, because that would mean I would die - but so far I am not to sure. Maybe it just takes time. Siobhan said months (but she has _ (<- That much) experience), but how long has it been? Month? Months? I can't remember the date - today or the day.

But (I don't know if you have noticed yet, you might not have (Truly!)), when I hear an angry tone, or unsympathising attitude (though I should be used to that by now), it really upsets me. And I mean really upsets me, for days, or weeks if it is allowed to.

I am a very fragile person, by many peoples doing - including myself, and I snap. I aren't depressed or anything, but I have similar symptoms (is that possible?). I am dragging on a bit so I'll stop.

Please be nice! I can't live without you!

I opened my eyes

While you were kissing me once, more than once

And you looked as sincere as a dog

Just as sincere as a dog does,

When it's the food on your lips with which it's in love

I bet you could never tell

That I knew you didn't know me that well

It is my fault you see

You never learned that much from me

Oh you silly stupid pastime of mine

You were always good for a rhyme

And from the first, to the last time, the signs

Said 'Stop' - but we went on whole-hearted

It ended bad, but I love what we started

It said 'Stop' - but we went on whole-hearted

It ended bad, but I love what we started

I took off my glasses

While you were yelling at me once more than once

So as not to see you see me react

Should've put 'em, should've put 'em on again

So I could see you see me sincerely yelling back

I bet your fortressed face

Belied your fort of lace

It is by the grace of me

You never learned what I could see

Oh you silly stupid pastime of mine

You were always good for a ride

And from the first to all the last times, all the signs

Said 'Stop' - but we went on whole-hearted

It ended bad, but I love what we started

It said 'Stop' - but we went on whole-hearted

It ended bad, but I love what we started

(a song)

Sydney

Hello From Sydney...

...said the blair monster...

...And welcome to a Sydney special...

...From a boy who can't be bothered with you right now...

...Yup...

It isn't any easier.

Goodbye.

The opposite of Life is death? Is it? I would like to think so, the Bible would like to tell me so, but really?

What is life? Concious... So the oppisite of that is unconcious right?

Is that death? No. Well maybe, well, actually, I dont know...

Exiting stuff! Anyhoo I wonder because if I hate life will death really stop it? Fix it? (I'm not saying I want to kill myself.. Life can be in many dimensions...)

I don't know if it will... So how do I stop conciousness?

I dont know...

Fargmented aren't I?

Or exited.

I want to be happy!

NOW, not in a few months time!

But how?

Tell me...

'This is the last time I'll abandon you!

This is the last time I'll forget you!

I wish I could'

I am a miserable fucker aren't I? One would think, with all the nice things I have to say about other people, I could say some wonderful things to myself that would make me feel better, but no, miserable fucker. I am miserable.

However within my misery I wonder at life, it has become an obsession lately (which is better than death like last time I guess), how people are made for it, and display it in everything they do. 'Life in every breath' And how people are formend, how beautiful they are, everyone not just the good looking ones, and how wierd that is! That lumps of fleash and bone and gristle can be beautiful... The most beautiful thing of all.

In fact its killing me.

Why Kids don't like Needles

Look at what You’ve done
And what you seeked me out to do
Bury me in time?
When I have just been born to You?!

Maybe made in-vitro
But Your child all the same
Can You stab needles in my temple
And say the I’m to blame?

And wherein lies Your limit
When You’ll stop and see my tears
And how You’ve let your child down
Before it rose to see its years

I’ll be gone before You find my carcass
Say sorry for Your plight
And sorry too for all You’ve done
To kill me in the night

This is the last of my emotional!
The end of April fools
The time of making enimies!
This time its not me,

Its You.

Forget the livejornal thing, but there will be a new blog soon!

Love you

Where's My Plug In Baby?!

More of a biblical studies doodle than a poem:

Love Life

Taste me/my love,

There'll be sweetness at heart,

But you'll find the bitterness!

And is it that betterness?

Or is what I've created,

Just not enough?

I want someone who loves me!

And if that cannot be you

Should I die alone?

In a house by a river

Where only boats come to visit

All of them empty?

My heart might not be broken

But it sure is forgotten

With no-one who loves me

Your my plug in baby! Crucifies my enimies! I love that song! You should download it, Plug in baby by Muse, their other songs are good too!

Also, I have started a jornal on Livejornal.com! Its not so much a blog as it is a record of my experiances, so yeah feel free to join me if that tickles your wickle!

I am tired

Ok, new blog.

One last cry of dispair (or the hope of the end to)

This blog has become stagnant.

Poems and usless emotional speaches that mean nothing to anyone exept the intended person (Roseanna, to eliminate any doubt) have caused a slip into tedium. A fatal slip.

So I am adopting a new look! (again) It always revives my thoughts, and I hope to post a resonable blog post soon!

While we're still living in garden-skin land, I may as well tell Roseanna about my emotions:

I am happy! Because I can finally see hope for friendship! Be happy too you unhappy chipmonk! (if you aren't) Or go you on cowgirl! (If you are!)

;)